Ok, what I am trying to say is that I’m coming across more and more cases of people with delusions of bed bugs. The delusion is not that they imagine they have bed bugs; our trained K-9 Chopper confirms bed bug activity. The delusion is that after treatment and no more evidence of bed bugs, they still think they have an infestation. Every little skin bump is a bed bug bite; every black speck in the house is a bed bug; every dead spider, mosquito, or beetle is a bed bug. They wake up to bed bugs; live their days thinking and spraying for bed bugs; they have sleepless nights thinking about bed bugs. I have clients who, after they have treatments and the bed bugs are gone, stand in the kitchen talking to me and scratching their arms like madmen. Clients who have thrown out their possessions, moved from their apartment, destroyed their apartment or have not slept in weeks. These are cases of “bed bugs in your head.” What makes things difficult for me treating these poor souls is that I no longer know what information from the client I can rely on when it comes to further treatments.
One client calls me every few days to tell me that when he watches TV on his new couch and at about 9 pm every night the bed bugs come out and start flying around his head. I keep telling him “bed bugs don’t fly.” I have a client who, after three months of what I thought was an early infestation and simple treatment, thought she was still getting bit. I could no longer find any evidence of the little vampires but she insisted that she was still getting bit. She basically left all her belongings and moved to a new apartment. Another client decided to spackle every square inch of his apartment with his bare hands to make it bed bug proof. I can’t imagine what it will cost to fix up the apartment when he comes back to earth.
One case that I thought would be simple tuned into a major job. After two treatments, I was able to declare there were no more bed bugs. My client kept on insisting he was getting bit and I could not find any more signs of the elusive pests as I kept returning for more inspections. On my fifth visit, the client informed me that he read that steam was the best thing to kill bed bugs. I don’t often use steam; I prefer freezing bed bugs. He was so adamant that I took out my steam machine and steamed his couches and bed. The truth of the matter was I never steamed anything. When I turned on the steamer it was not working. I went through the motions of treating because I did not have the heart to tell this person that they would need to wait. I figured once I fixed the steamer I would come back and retreat. Before I went back, he declared he was bed bug free, the fake steam worked. It worked!
When these blood suckers get into our heads we start acting crazy. I’m starting to recommend therapy for some clients. My heart goes out to these people. I know what it’s like to imagine you’re getting bit. I still have sleepless nights after working a job with a heavy infestation. I actually wake up in the middle of the night with what I can only describe as a painful sting. What works for me is the knowledge that you can’t feel bed bugs when they are biting.
I think education is the best answer. Then again, I had one client who, after a mild infestation, proceeded to stay up for 24 hours on the internet educating herself into a total state of madness. I told her to shut off her computer, find a designated driver and go out for a drink. I was at a loss of what to say.


